When I walk to the Philippine Army for boxing, I have a 2.5km walk. Often I listen to music and sing along, other times I let my mind wonder and think of random things.
Today, on route to boxing, I thought of all my struggles I've been through to get to this particular point, this very spot -- me walking down a busy road in the Philippines, heading out to boxing. I thought of the hard times in Korea that, at the time, seemed like they'd never end. The crazy amount of money we borrowed to make Hulk's, the stupid things we did to make Hulk's even happen, the dirty business we got into to make our business legit. No one will ever really know the excitement and fear I felt owning and operating Hulk's. To have finally had my dream come true but then needing to step away from it in order to save myself, literally and figuratively save myself.
No one will ever know.
And I know, no matter how I explain myself or what finer details I reveal, no one will ever really know. No one will every fully comprehend my story.
No one will ever really know.
I had just blurted out that last sentence, "no one will every really know", when suddenly a jeepney slowed down and honked at me. No one got into the jeepney, no one got out of it, and I wasn't close to one of the jeepney stops on that road but there it was, slowly down and honking at me. I stopped, looked up at it and what should be written across the top windshield of that jeepney but two words, "God knows".
And then it drove away.
I was left there standing like a deer caught in the headlights. I didn't know if that was a sign or just a fluke coincidence and I didn't know if I was freaked out by the relevance of that or comforted. All I know is that it was too on point. I had literally just finished saying "no one will ever know" when that happened. The timing was impeccable.
Maybe someone else does know and I've just been too caught up in my own thoughts to realize that.
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